An ambassador somewhere in the Middle East reveals to his son that the U.S. is developing an Ultra Neutron Bomb (U.N. Bomb!) that will kill a populace of a city but leave the buildings standing. The son is infuriated so he vows to go back to America and tell the truth to the world. He storms out of the office and gets a ride to the airport. But on his way, terrorists kidnap him and are now holding him for ransom. The ambassador turns to his friend in the CIA, who has a plan. The CIA official goes to Las Vegas, where he recruits a group of showgirls to train and send in. After some time learning how to crawl through barrels, jump over a small puddle of water, and climb a wooden wall, the gals are ready to go. They end up in the Middle East, undercover as…Las Vegas Showgirls. They run nightly missions to find the ambassador’s son. Can they get to him before time runs out?
Yeah, this is as ridiculous as it appears to be. First of all, the only plan that will work is to train showgirls to kill and then take them to the Middle East to run commando raids? Can’t, you know, regular soldiers do that? Ostensibly they have cover as showgirls, but they walk in and out of the hotel where they’re staying, dressed in sexy combat outfits and carrying guns. Don’t worry, though, they’re using the back entrance so no one sees them! There’s lots of shots of them during training, repeating the same drills over and over, with the same footage looped. And then when they get to the “Middle East” (don’t get me started on the “locations”) they simply sit in a hot tub naked, chat with each other, get a call on the hotel phone (!) telling them where to go, and then they take off and shoot up a bunch of “bad guys.” They return to their hotel room, get back in the hot tub, and wait for their next mission. Yes, they do find the ambassador’s son and yes, they do rescue him. The best part is the ending, a literal Scooby-Doo ending, where one of their own gets her female head mask torn off to reveal a male traitor in their midst! Goddamn this movie kind of has everything: action, boobs, and silly dialogue. It is a ridiculous film that never fails to entertain.
Only Cannon in the 80s could put out this kind of entertaining drivel. It’s bad, really bad. Almost none of the squad of women is listed with character names in the credits (they’re just “Member of Squad”) even though their characters do have names on the screen! This is a shoddy effort but like I said, it never quits and never gets boring. There is plenty of cringy Middle Eastern stereotyping, though. Plenty. At the time it didn’t seem like a big deal, but nowadays, it’s very offensive. If you can get past that and just concentrate on the jiggling boobs and outrageous stupidity, you’ll have a grand old time. They don’t make them like this anymore and thankfully never will.
★★☆☆
