• Kelly M. Hudson

Kiss These Lips!

Set in a distant future, small-time band Vicious Lips gets the call to do a gig at a small club when their singer gets killed. Desperate to find a replacement, zany band manager Matty Asher (Anthony Kentz) goes to a local high school talent show where he plucks out innocent Judy Jetson (you read that right; played by Dru-Anne Perry) and they do the gig. It’s a smashing success, so good in fact it comes to the attention to the biggest music promoter in the galaxy. She summons the band to play at her club on a faraway planet, and the all-girl gang of Lips has to get there on time, despite many obstacles being thrown their way, including a giant asteroid. This is their big break. Will they make it or will they just be another promising band who fell by the wayside?

What a movie. First of all, it’s pretty bad. There’s not much story here, and when I say it’s thin, imagine a McDonald’s hamburger without the buns. But it’s fun, for sure, and there’s some cool 80’s music going on here. There’s also mutant men, a Venusian beast, and very strange and exotic musical “instruments.” All the Lips look like hair rockers (the one looks dead-on like Nikki Sixx) with New Wave makeup and fashion. Their songs are all boppy bop pop, but it’s bouncy and heartfelt. The acting is...well, it will do. Lots of nudity, strange, cheap sets, model spaceships, and everything is drenched in neon. All of this brought to you by Albert Pyun, director of The Sword and the Sorcerer and Cyborg. I tell you, it ain’t much but they sure showered it with a ton of love.

It’s hard to recommend something like this to a general audience, but most of you reading this aren’t very general now, are you? This is a strange artifact from a strange time and it was clear they were throwing everything against the wall and hoping something would stick. It was like all the leftover props from all the other Empire movies were tossed in here. Might as well use ‘em again! It’s a good time, though, and it zips right along. So yeah, you know who you are if you love this kind of thing. If that’s you, throw an extra star on the rating. If not, you won’t be interested in this interstellar 80’s Pop/New Wave futuristic bananarama.

Three Stars out of Four

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