By
Kelly M. Hudson
The new Predator is an amazingly fun film that gets everything right about the 1980’s while updating the setting and the feel to our current times. Are there plot holes? Yep. Are there plot threads left dangling? Yep. Is everything perfect? Nope. And yet, who gives a shit? We have a film that starts off on 10 and just ratchets it up from there. Also, who goes into a movie like this and takes it so seriously that they can’t just relax and have some fun? I mean, it’s big space aliens killing humans. It’s a cartoon by nature, folks. I’d tell you to grow up, but really, you need to grow back down and remember the kid inside of you, because the teenage Kelly loved the holy shit out of this movie.
It starts with a bang, like I said. There’s a Predator in deep space and he’s being chased by another creature who turns out to be a Super Predator or something like that. The regular Predator gets away and manages to warp to Earth where, due to engine damage, he has to crash land near a Cartel deal where our hero, Quinn (Boyd Holbrook) is about to sniper some bad dudes. Shit hits the fan and the Predator shows up and people die and somehow in the process, Quinn gets his hands on some Predator tech and escapes. He manages to mail the stuff off to his son, who is autistic and lives in the States. Quinn gets captured by the shadow government and shipped off to eventually be dumped into a looney bin with a group of lovable and affable fellow misfits (all of whom are crazy in their own way). Somewhere in there a scientist becomes Ripley (Casey, played by Olivia Munn) and then…well, who cares? It gets convoluted and messy. In the end, the Super Predator shows up and goes after the first Predator. Turns out Predator #1 came to earth to give us some kind of technology that would help us to kill the Predators whenever they come here. The Big Bad Guy doesn’t want that to happen. What follows is a whole lot of action and CGI blood and man, we get to see Predators kill viciously and effectively. It’s a thrill to see them let loose and really revel in their destruction. We also get lots of nods to the other films in the series (and yes! Predator dogs!). By the end, the humans win, and we get the tech weapon, and Quinn is going to be the badass to save us from the aliens in the future.
The movie is brisk and exciting and hardly slows down a beat. This is everything that was fun and dumb about movies from the 80’s. It’s really like an Arnold film in a lot of ways, with zazzy one-liners and impossible feats and stunts. Again, you can’t come into this taking it too seriously. This is humans versus Predators and dammit, if that’s not good enough, then move on. I really don’t get why fanboys are so up in arms. This movie did not shit on your heritage. In fact, it expanded and broadened it. Hey, we learn why the Predator sometimes keeps the old skull/spine combo, and no, it’s not a trophy. It actually serves a purpose. And there’s a lot more little bits like that peppered throughout the film. This is a big, fun B-movie and it doesn’t try to pretend to be something it isn’t. It would be nice if some of the fans would be this honest with their own lives.
Below the rating and trailer is a secret spoiler, a thought I had after the end of the film. Don’t read it if you don’t want even more spoiled than I already did.
3 ½ Stars out of 4
At the end, when the Big Reveal about the tech the Predator was bringing us, something they called the Predator Killer is shown, I was a little disappointed. It was a big coffin and Goddamnit, I really wanted that lid to slide back and for Arnold to pop up and say, “Come with me if you want to live.” Yeah, I know that would have painted things into a corner they could never get out of, but how cool would that have been?