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  • Writer's pictureKelly M. Hudson

When the Clock Strikes! Amityville 1992! (Amityville Week Pt. 6)


Jacob (Stephen Macht, the guy who played the dad in Monster Squad) returns home from a business trip with an odd gift for his fractured family. It seems he lucked into an antique clock from an estate that was being torn down for a new real estate development. Now, we know what “estate” that clock came from because we’re shown in flashbacks the evil house in Amityville and those glaring, eye-like windows. Things go bad, of course, because the clock is haunted, and it starts to affect the family. Jacob gets attacked by a neighbor dog (or does he?), ending up bed-ridden with a pus-filled, injured leg. His ex-girlfriend Andrea (Shawn Weatherly), who is staying with the family to help out, starts seeing bizarre things. Jacob’s son Rusty (Damon Martin), an aspiring metalhead, sees what’s going on and starts to investigate, while daughter Lisa (Megan Ward) gets masturbated by a mirror and then turns into a possessed sexual servant of the clock. You read that right. The battle between the family and this ancient evil is on!

While the second movie takes the award for most batshit crazy, this one comes in a close second. Directed by Hellraiser II director Tony Randel, there’s plenty here to love. First, it’s moist as hell. There’s lots of gooey, painful and bloody practical FX from KNB, much of which will make you either turn away with a sick stomach or cheer with excitement. Second, it’s very surreal, and nothing is really explained except that the clock is old, it belonged to some evil guy, and now it’s fucking up the lives of this family. Sometimes it affects time, sometimes it affects space, but it always is playing mind-tricks on the family, slowly driving them further and further into insanity. As the movie tumbles forward to its wild and Twilight Zone conclusion, things just get wackier and stranger until it all kind of explodes into a surreal nightmare.

This one comes highly recommended to fans of the weird and the audacious. It’s not perfect; some of the pacing is a bit slow at times, and the story doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but then again, that’s part of the ride. The clock has unleashed a nightmare upon this family, and only nightmare logic applies. So yeah, when a certain major character gets turned into a toddler and shown the front door, don’t run away, but just go ahead and embrace it. This movie has fun with its bizarre nature, and if you catch its vibe, so will you.

★★★☆


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